Lately I began to ask myself, “Why am I on a social media”? “Why did I return back to Flickr? “Why am I here?”
I don’t connect with people on a social media, I don’t write comments, I don’t get comments; only on occasion. Am I here just to show off my photographs? Or there is something more to that.
Perhaps, something more to that. I opened this blog to write about photography, how it became a big part of my life and changed it. I know it sounds a little bit pathetic but it’s true. I am a housewife and I lived for a long time quiet secluded life without friends and social gatherings.
Photography took me on the streets were I began to meet some people; talk to them even for a very brief moment. I started the project “Portraits of Strangers”. That was the best thing ever happened to me. I didn’t feel myself anymore isolated and disconnected with world and people. Photography gave a meaning to my life. It gave a purpose and goals. And learning also.
And then… I wanted to share my work with others. It was a good honest determination but in years it turned into an ego thing. Somehow I began dependent on likes and favorites. If I didn’t get them or got little I was upset for the whole day. When I got a few of them my mood improved and I felt excited.
When some day I realized that I am running on a huge social media treadmill to nowhere and I have to do something about it.
All my favorite photographers like Ernest Haas, Vivien Maier, William Eggleston, Saul Leiter and others didn’t care what others thought about their photography. I am sure that they even would not be on a social media and different forums. They shoot for pleasure. They had a confidence and I am lacking it.
Lately I am looking less and less for approval of others. It’s not so easy but I am working on it. And I don’t use the social media as barometer to see if I am good with my photography or not.